Before It's Too Late

i always use cotton stick to clean my ear canal
i always do that to clear the earwax
so this afternoon when i'm cleaning my ear canal
something scary is happened
as usual , gently pushing the cotton stick into my ears to clean all the dirts inside
i always do it softly and carefully because it's ears! my ears!
i will not do that hard to hurt my ears , my ear drums , i don't want to be deaf
but i didn't know this will happen to me , and i'm really scare to clean my ears with cotton stick anymore

okay , my left ear , i thought i'm going to be half deaf after i clean it with the cotton stick
my left ear hearing sense become very low and blurry
my ears , can't even hear the raining sound inside my room
i try to do the pumping action by my palm covering my pinna to let some air flow inside the ear , see is that works for my left ear to be normal again!
sadly , it's not working!!! i gone a little mad and worry
AM I GOING TO BE LIVE WITH ONE EAR?
i couldn't do anything to save myself so i drive to the goverment clinic , during the rain
#i hate rain , and i hate walking in the rain , and there's a distance between the parking area and the clinic#
i can't stop thinking and become emo for a while , what if i'm deaf...
i think a lot , a lot of bad things , future?

anyway , the doctor say my left ear is normal , no earwax clog inside the ear
so she say i'm fine , she use an instrument which is like a magnifier for checking my ear
ok lo , i hope the ear will back to normal after a sleep
and yes , i scare , what if it didn't ?
lastly , no more cotton stick to clean your ears!
i'm curious btw , is that a common sense for everyone but only me do not know about that?
please let me know! thank you!